I heard…Love just as people who are waiting for a bus. A bus come and you say, “Huff…full and crowded. I can’t sit comfortably eh! I will wait the next bus”. Then, the next bus is coming. You see and say, “Oh man this bus is not fun, and it’s not good anyway…I don’t like it!”
Next bus is coming, cool and you like it, but it does not see you and goes on. The fourth bus come in front of you. That bus is empty, good, but you say, “Oh no, nothing air conditioner. I’ll be hot, so…you let the bus go.
The time passes by, you are conscious that you can be late arrive to office. When the fifth bus come, you have not patience to hop in to the bus. At last you are aware that you go on the wrong bus. That bus which has different destination with you. And you just realized it that you have wasted your time.
What the hikmah/lesson that you can take from this story? Often, someone waiting someone who is really ideal to be her/his life partner whereas no one who is 100% (perfect) such as you want in the world. And you never be 100% such as he/she wants. It is not wrong to have a qualification for your candidates, but no mistake too if you give an opportunity to someone who stop in front of you. Of course that one have to have the same goals with yours. If not, nothing to do…just let it go.
So, giving an opportunity to someone who stops in front of you, all depend on your decision. This story also means if you find a bus that is empty, you like and you can believe it, and surely have the same goal with you, you can stop the bus with your ability, so that it can give you opportunity to get it, because finding such a bus is a blessing/ni’mah that will be something meaningful for you and for him/her. Hope, faith, and love…let it be the most important thing in your life. Then which bus you’ll wait for? Is it really right that love is like waiting for a bus?
For me, this trip very long to pass it just by waiting for a bus. Moreover, It’s so long not going on a bus…hehehe…but this trip will not be tiring if you enjoy it every time. Especially there is someone who accompanies you on the trip…hahaha..okay…enough for kidding…now let’s talk more seriously.
In life. You want to achieve a palace. You are hunting a true friend who can accompanies you in ocean. Someone who wants to fight together with you to face storms and waves of life that can come every time and everywhere. That wave can be only little ripples, but sometimes also will be big waves.
On a bus, you can just easily shout “left or right” or you can stop it and out if you think the bus on the wrong goal. Let’s try to imagine…if you are in the middle of the sea. Will you shout to ship’s captain, “left or right” or let me go now! If the ship’s captain bring ship which you say to left or right against direction of the wind, of course you need long time to be at the edge, right? Or if you request to stop that time, can you swim to the edge?
Marriage drives you not to be amazed in fantasy. Marriage makes you aware about reality of life that your darling partner has mystery which you have to expose, hides capability which you must develop and sometimes she/he shows attitude that demands your patience.
Marriage is a trip to a place that you don’t know, make you aware reality that married couple have to share, not only many things which you don’t know about your couple, but also many things which you don’t know about yourself. Many necessity physiology our couple who have to know, whereas that all really you get in university or speaker’s platform. There is characteristic that you have to understand, because it don’t detect during ta’aruf. There are some language which your darling say that she/he don’t tell you except with behavior signal. There is life rhythm that really different, which you must hunting that mean. Whereas that all never you meet in books.
Get married is raising progress. And enter it needs strong and brave agent. Brave to face problems that will happened and have power to solve them.They must have communicate each others, willingness to hear criticism, sincere to request apologize, honest to forget a mistake, and brave to suggest an opinion.
Once again, Get married is brave to decide to dock when thousand lighting yacht calling. Get married is a process of yourself knowing. without knowing about yourself, how can you can understand others? Get married needs the highest brave, a big tolerance and a wise soul to accept and to forgive.
For me, get married is not only merger two characteristic, but also two family & two others (hometown/country, etc). If each other want to learning and supporting to understand each other…InsyaAllah all different of them will be a beauty of merger. That is match with a hadith from Rasulullah saw that different will be a blessing (rahmat).
Get married is not a trial and error, such as a test in applying a job or an examination at a university. Getting married is more than that, but to get married doesn’t need experimental period as normally you apprentice to be accepted by a company or a restaurant, because the most need to build that palace is “belief” to one who we’ll be engaged to get married/live together. Whoever she/he and wherever she/he comes from. Have you believe someone today?
If you read many books about romantic of marriage, you’ll meet magic words which are hidden, and that word is “belief”. For example in the book “Sebelum kamu mengambil keputusan besar itu (before you take a big decision”, getting married is a big decision). It is impossible that you’ll take a big decision in your life if you are not sure who is the one that you will marry with.
In the other book, “Disebabkan karena cinta, ku percayakan rumahku padamu (Because of love, I believe my home to you)”, isn’t there the feeling of believing? or “Bila hati rindu menikah (if your heart misses getting married)”, doesn’t these words also have feeling of belief ? How can you miss something which you are not sure to stride?
Read too “Ijinkan aku meminangmu (let me to purpose you)”, isn’t here clear view that magic word, a question that if you answer “yes”, will change all your life. How can you accept a stranger in your life, if you don’t belief him/her?
Accepting someone in your life for a lifelong episode, is not a simple such as you waiting for a bus to office or to campus. isn’t it? Nothing wrong to give an opportunity to someone who stop in front of you, one, two or three times, but if it always happen like that, it can make a problem for yourself.
You do not live in Sahara desert which is so far from noise city, that no whisper from neighbors. On the contrary you live in the middle of community who has hobby talking before perfect invitations are printed out. Alhamdulillah if the story which you hear will not heat your ears. What If you hear the other way? To face this condition, for my self, I believe and I put everything in Allah. Of course you need to ihktiar too, that ikhtiar you have to move not to wait,and the way must match with the role of Islam.
Surely, when there is that feeling…you’ll feel that love is there…that’s the feeling which makes you brave to take a big decision in your life. A decision that can’t be influenced by your parent, your teacher, your brothers/sisters and your friends. Not everyone. That decision is natural come from you, although many sides have contribution for it. Because of that decision, yourself will do it, not them. It appears from the whisper of Allah in your heart. Follow your heart…be honest…because your heart never lies to you. Believe that…Allah will meet you with your soul mate with the way that maybe you never guess.
Maybe your soul mate is the one who really foreign for you, never you know and meet with you before. Maybe she/he is one in around you, either. But you don’t know. Believe the beautiful miracle in your life to HIM. Only Allah knows when the happy day will come, because someone who is special will come at special time and with special way.
You prince/your queen is yours, and she/he will not be the owner of others. So never think if he/she is not proper for you. But prepare yourself so that you proper be her/his owner. Importantly, less accept someone just the way she/he is. That’s only way your voyage will realize the destination happily.
No longer…The time passes away…Rajab month have passed away and now you in Sya’ban month. In this month you have an golden opportunity to get close yourself to Allah SWT, so that when Ramadhan comes, your relationship with the Almighty universe will reach the climax.
That time…you will understand the direction of life, because the right decision is easy when your soul be stable. That is time when your love to Allah there in the top, that time is when your feeling comfort with Allah can not be replaced by everything. That’s the time when your focus to HIM will be really perfect, that’s time when your bravery to decide something without hesitation. That’s the time also when your closeness to someone is not oriented for desire or passion, but rather sincere because of Allah. Is there something the most happiness when you know, you can manage your desire?
You’ll get married is when you have belief on someone who as you believe in yourself. we’ll get married is when you meet someone who we can belief and she/he believes you too. Only your heart can feel that. How big the feeling of belief, how strong the commitment of that belief, so it can kill time and cover a distance and face all challenges to make two soul who long time want to meet. Price of a feeling is a commitment!
Finally, although we always keep our word and our attitude, but there are always mistakes and oversights. It turned out perfect is not our property. But it’s just Allah property. Before Ramadhan is coming, once again please forgive me if as long as interaction between us, I have mistakes to you all.
Happy preparing holy Ramadhan for all Muslim in the world. May this Ramadhan more beautiful than before. May It will be a moment for us to get a guide of Allah, and a source of spiritual to achieve our dreams, to purify ourselves, to make us brave to start a new things in life and to face any challenge in the future which we will stride long distance because of Allah. May we are including people who Allah chooses to see “Lailatur Qadar” night, and all of our worships will be received by Allah, and also including people who able to fill this holy Ramadhan with full brilliant of worships…Aamiin…
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